How to Be Self-Confident and Bring Yourself Inner Peace


As I’m finishing my degree in psychology, I realized that knowing psychology is beneficial for truly any person. It’s a good idea to make it a mandatory course in school, because so many societal issues would be solved—if people simply knew more about how our minds work. Understanding the mind is an essential part of strength, achievement, and serenity.

To some people, healthy thinking comes naturally, due to their experiences and the people that they have been surrounded by in the past. To others, it doesn’t, and it is something they must acquire throughout their lifetime.

However, since not everyone out there has studied psychology or understands the workings of one’s mentality and of our society, I want to share with you some of what I know, or perhaps remind you of some things that you already know as well.

As I observe the multitude of beautiful, capable, and intelligent people around me, I curiously notice one thing all of them have in common: the biggest weakness of our generation, insecurity and anxiety.

This is something that everyone experiences throughout their lives (some to larger extents than others), and being successful, amazing, beautiful, or smart does not make a person immune to the feeling. It is due to the inherently social nature of us humans, that anxiety has been such a prominent aspect, or flaw I would say, of our society.

Young people are more anxious than their older counterparts, who, at some point, were hopefully able to grow out of it. It may not seem like a big deal, but in reality, insecurity is the root of 95 percent of your problems (if not more). So it is crucial to get rid of it.

A mind clouded with insecurity is a mind that prevents you from living the life you deserve and are capable of. The first step to getting rid of insecurity is understanding why you have it. A problem cannot be fixed unless one knows its causes.

It could be for many reasons, but it all roots down to the fact that being inherently social is something that is rooted deeply into our genetics. Back in the prehistoric times of cavemen, if you were not accepted or included in your social group, you would simply die due to lack of shelter, protection, resources, and food.

So through natural selection, humans developed an anxiety for the possibility of social exclusion and need for a social circle. This evolutionary history is what causes things like shyness, fear of public speaking, or being afraid of embarrassing oneself.

It’s funny that even though these traits are no longer relevant for our survival, they are so deeply rooted within us that their effect continues. Psychologically, we are not meant to be alone, and social interaction has more influence on us than it does on any other animal out there.

The mind is an organ that needs to be taken care of just like any other. Except, unlike taking care of your heart, muscles, and skin, where in order to keep them healthy you need to give yourself the right foods and water, to take care of your mind you need to give yourself the right people and experiences.

Being surrounded by people who make you feel good about yourself, who believe in you and support you is essential. As you get older you will learn to rely on yourself and you won’t need emotional support from others in order to flourish (although it certainly helps).

In fact, learning to rely on yourself regardless of the people you do or don’t have in your life is crucial, and you shouldn’t depend on anybody. Yet as you are developing from childhood to late teens, being surrounded by positivity and support is necessary for developing confidence, self-love, and a positive outlook on life. To be a healthy person, requires being surrounded by healthy people.