Love is a tricky four-letter word because it means different things to different people. Some people swarm to it, like bees to honey, while others wouldn't dare go near it with a 10-foot pole. And, yet, it’s what we all need.
Why does love drive us crazy? Love has dual power. It can be both sweet and sour. It can lift us up and bring us down. It can bring us heartache and bring us joy. And, it can feel like heaven and hell.
For those who say they don’t want love, it is usually because they still feel the pain from a relationship gone bad, gone wrong, or gone away. For others, it is usually because they don't believe they deserve it.
We attract the love we think we deserve. Somewhere along the line, something happened to make us feel we are not worthy of love. Bad experiences can chip away at our self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence. But, the truth is we are all worthy of love. The key to feeling worthy is to not allow a rotten past sour our future. Instead, we must work on making ourselves ripe for love.
Here are five points to remember:
1. Our vibe attracts our tribe. If you want to attract a healthy, loving relationship, speak and act more lovingly toward others. Do good deeds, give out compliments, and express gratitude regularly. Knowing we're doing something right, practicing kindness fills us up with love, boosts our self-esteem, and attracts kindness from others.
Someone will either mirror our exact thoughts, feelings, and intentions, or they will challenge them. Those who challenge us can also help us grow in ways we wouldn’t have grown on our own. This makes us ripe for love in a way we did not expect.
2. Be open to healing your life by healing your heart. Cultivate self-love by treating yourself with more love and kindness. Treat yourself the same way you would want a loving partner to treat you. Re-learn what it feels like to feel good and feel loved. Do all the things that make you happy. Focus on your passions or discover new ones. Go places that make you feel safe or allow you to have fun. And, spend time with people who lift your spirits and make you feel good about yourself.
How you treat yourself teaches others how to treat you as well. So, identify which actions heal and which actions harm you, and reinforce what you learn by setting healthy boundaries with others.
3. What you project you attract. Watch your words. Speak well of yourself, speak well of others, and speak well of your future. Say what you mean and mean what you say. So, if you're going to say anything, let it be good! It's OK to gently acknowledge the negative, but focus on the positive. As Tony Robbins says, where your attention goes, your energy flows. So, focus on the good that can come from wanting a new relationship and focus on creating actions that support your intentions.
4. It's never too late to try again. It's never too late to set a new goal, dream another dream, or try something new or different. And, that goes for new relationships. We all deserve more chances in life - at peace, love, happiness, and success. Remember, we can be different with different people at different times. This means different people bring out different sides of us. So, don't let your past relationship dictate the next. They can be different. You can be different! Give yourself that chance to see for yourself!
5. Create your future by focusing on the present. Look forward with hope instead of looking backward with guilt or anger. Looking backward can keep you stuck in the past. The past is the past. So, practice self-compassion. This means go easy on yourself for the mistakes you've made. Be less critical and be more forgiving. There is nothing you can do now about what you've done then. So, you might as well learn from it. Find the lessons in your experiences and use this wisdom to plant new seeds for a better future. Then, nourish this newfound hope with positive thoughts and actions to help them grow into more fruitful experiences. In other words, use what you find to start thinking, feeling, and doing things that create the kind of relationship you desire.
We all deserve love, but love is what we make of it. Don't expect perfection. Focus on making progress instead.
Love starts with kindness and respect between two people. Treating each other with kindness and respect pumps positive vibes into the world. This creates more peace and harmony within us, with others, and with the environment. This makes us ripe for love.
Start by telling yourself that you deserve love. Then, align your words and actions with your intentions. This affirmation can help!