I Can Have Everything I Want

12 May

What do you want? What do you really want? If you could be, do, or have anything you desired, what is it? 

Do you want to be rich or just financially comfortable? Do you want fancy cars or boats, or do you want a home with an ocean view? Do you want to take luxurious vacations or to travel around the world? 

Would you like to change your career? Would you like to be more comfortable in your own skin or find your own voice?

Would you like to start dating again, get married, divorced, or just find a good companion for nice conversation?

Does meandering around the country in an RV to catch the sunset in every state sound appealing? Or, do you just want a quiet life at home with those who matter most? Maybe you look forward to growing old with your spouse, reminiscing about the good old days, and watching your grandchildren grow up.

No matter what you want, you can have it all. No matter what anyone has told you or what you may have told yourself, you deserve the life you desire. Of course, it will take time, effort, determination, and patience. As they say, the sky's the limit, and the only thing that holds you back is you.

So, what's holding you back? What fears or false beliefs have you been telling yourself? What makes you doubt yourself or your dreams?

False beliefs are the stories we've repeatedly heard or told ourselves until we were convinced they were true. At one point, there may have even been some truth to them, but over time they've been blown out of proportion and gotten out of control. Eventually they’ve transformed into lies we mistake for facts. As a result, they have become the limitations we've placed on ourselves. Hence, they are also called "self-limiting" beliefs.

False beliefs hold us back from realizing our dreams. It is common to have doubts, fears, and false beliefs. After all, negative life experiences can leave a sour taste in our mouths. They can create hesitation or discourage us from pursuing our dreams. But don't let them rule your life!

Self-doubt, fear, and false beliefs pull us out of alignment with our true selves and desires. Once they take permanent residency in your mind, they will easily sabotage and delay your success. They make it harder to focus on your goals and stay motivated to achieve them. Ultimately, they prevent you from attaining the levels of happiness, health, and success you desire.

But you can shake your doubts, conquer your fears, and destroy your false beliefs by choosing faith instead. To restore self-belief, you must realign your true self with your desires. 

Here are five tips how:

  1. Follow your passions. Doing things you enjoy or being around people who bring you joy creates a safe headspace for keeping your dreams alive. Being in a good mood helps maintain a positive attitude. Ultimately, your attitude determines how far you go in life. So, allow yourself to have fun. All work and no play leads to boredom and dissatisfaction in multiple areas of your life. Travel, read, garden, take a road trip, learn a new hobby, join a social club, or go to the movies with your friends. Do anything to lift your spirits regularly.
  2. Practice self-care. Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s necessary. Your health is your number one priority. You simply cannot achieve or maintain success if you are not healthy. And there’s no one else responsible for your well-being but you. Do everything you can to stay healthy - mind, body, and spirit. Practice good hygiene, maintain a daily skincare regimen, exercise regularly, drink adequate amounts of water, and get enough sleep. Also, consider pampering yourself from time to time. Get a massage, get your nails done, get a new haircut or color, or buy yourself a new outfit. Treating yourself to a new look or new things can freshen your outlook and boost your self-worth and self-esteem.
  3. Reconnect with yourself. Going within can help bring out the best in you. Learn to check in with your own thoughts and feelings regularly. It can be hard to focus on what you want when all you hear is the constant chatter of other people’s opinions and criticisms in your head. Tap into your inner wisdom and listen to your inner voice by being still and quiet. Practice meditation, mindfulness, or breathwork. If you are religious, pray or worship regularly. Or spend more time outdoors to connect with nature.
  1. Rest. Instead of giving up, learn when to give in. In other words, take a break. Step away from the constant grind to relax your mind. Give in to the demands of life by temporarily unplugging and letting go. Overworking is over-rated. It can cause stress, anxiety, depression, and burnout. If you're spread too thin, you won’t have the energy or motivation to take the steps you need to build your dreams.
  1. Talk nicely to yourself. Practicing positive self-talk is essential to rewire your thoughts. It is the first step to creating new belief systems and helping to rewrite or destroy old ones. One way you can do this is by using positive affirmations. Another way is using something called the “10-F” practice that I learned from Laurie King, a manifestation coach. King says acknowledging your fears outloud helps disarm their power over you. This verbal exercise helps merge the energies between your desires (positive) and the perceived barriers to your desires (negative). Therefore, despite your fears or false beliefs, you will still be able to move towards your desires.

First, identify one of your desires. Then identify the fear or false belief you have that holds you back from pursuing this desire.

For example, you want to go back to college. But you fear that you can’t afford the tuition or the time and energy to get a degree while working full-time.

To Do:
Going left hand to right hand, state your fear or false belief out loud while sticking out your left thumb and then state your desire using your right thumb.

Use the phrase, “Even though I’m afraid that/concerned about____," (add your self-limiting belief), "I still want _____" (your desire). Using your fingers from each hand, repeat the same phrases until you use up all 10 fingers.

Example: Even though I’m afraid I won’t be able to afford the tuition or have the energy to handle both work and school (left finger), I still want to get my bachelor’s degree. (right finger)

It is OK to have fear. It's OK to have doubts. But don't let them rule your life! The biggest bully in your life can be your own mind. Don't let it manipulate you into believing you're not worthy to have everything you want. 

Life is what you make of it. So, make it great one thought at a time.

Live, love, and lead with Aloha.

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